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HermioneGreen posted a comment on Friday 4th August 2006 3:07pm

A most wonderful story . . . thanks for taking the time to share it with the rest of us

'Mione

Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 4th August 2006 2:56pm

I think that I can speak for all of us that we are grateful for accurately prescribed modern pharmaceuticals, and that they make it possible for you to write such wonderful stories.

Thanks so much for sharing.
The human mind is such a wonderfully inventive thing, that it seems to work best when trying to accomplish a task within certain parameters, as you did by creating a novelette from a novel sized idea.

Kokopelli replied:

Actually, I wrote The Letters of Summer when I was clinically depressed - I can write when I'm depressed - it's other things that I can't do.

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 4th August 2006 2:44pm

I suppose your attempt to pare it down as much as possible explains why it feels rather bare bones. :-)

The background is still impressively solid. But the the foreground, the action of the main characters themselves, the time they spend together is about as small as it can get and still hold together.

I had the idea of Harry going with to help her in the last chapter. The official partners thing I didn't see until Harry spoke to the Superintendent. In part because I assume that in a real law enforcement dept they would discourage relationships between close co-workers, not encourage them.

It's a nice piece that I enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Gardengirl posted a comment on Friday 4th August 2006 2:42pm

No chocolate sauce was harmed? Well, why not? How can you say you've done your research if that's the case? *slacker*

Loved this, John. Very cleverly done. For my part, I thank the folks who came up with Zoloft... and so do my children, as I'd be a raving (rhymes with witch) without it!

Kokopelli replied:

Write what you know.   I've been married 24 years.   We went through a food phase in the early years - enough said about that.

J

Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Friday 4th August 2006 3:25am

This is a REALLY good "drabble". Hope to see more of it sometime soon.

Darkness posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 7:56am

Wow, I never did expect Harry to react like that, but then again this is Harry so I guess he was too shocked, and then angered at what he thought was a break-up to think cleary. Hmm, it was quite the evil twist.

I liked how you wrote Gabrielle at the end of this chapter. The way she handled the situation seemed so real. I hope we get to see the fall-out of this chapter soon; I also hope Harry calms himself down enough to think rationally and do something quick.

You really have hooked now.

Shadow High Angel posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 7:44am

Even better than the first, and i am very happy we did not have to wait too long. Can't wait for the third to find out where Harry went to this time.

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 6:32am

Rather excellent story. I look forward to this continuing. I thought the problem that Harry had latched onto would be that she had made the decission without talking to him. That is something that can be forgiven in a marriage, but not as easily in a non-fully committed relationship. But I have to admit, how she worded it did sound like a goodbye. And starting out with the being out of money was the worst way to approach it. She should have started with asking what he would think of her doing the occasional assignment again.

Well, live and learn, hopefully.

Thank you for writing.

Mike (MoA)

saugart posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 12:39am

I think the situation you have set up at the end of this chapter is interesting and well-done.

I like Gabrielle's devotion to Duty. I wish that she had emphasized the chance to save innocent human lives; this would, I think, have appealed more to Harry than the money issues.

Harry certainly should not have run out like that, something I'll remember if I'm ever in a similar situation :).

DiverSam posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 12:39am

This has been very good. You characters are well drawn and thought out. Harry's character, with hsi depression is very thoughtful. Looking forward to more.

Jarrod posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 12:26am

Wow...very nice, Post-Hogwarts stuff can get kinda scetchy but you are pulling it off nicely.

Kokopelli replied:

Actually, I disagree - I find the Hogwarts stuff to be very restrictive - rather like training wheels.   You've got to write about Quidditch and the teachers and the house rivalry - which is all well and good, but there are other things I want to write about - and besides, who wants to go back to boarding school?

Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 11:22pm

Oh, Gabrielle . . . Yes, Harry over-reacted to what you said, but you KNOW he's an emotional mess with serious abandonment issues.

That chocolate sauce visual is very intriguing, John. *leer*

BTW, Hermione's husband (Neville) is painting his mother's parlour? Uh, Alice Longbottom is in St. Mungo's, isn't she?

Still, fun story.

Kokopelli replied:

I left a clue in the narration:

The remainder of the summer passed in a blur.   Neville and Hermione married in a small ceremony at the end of June, attended by Neville’s parents and the extended Weasley clan, with a reception held on the grounds of Hogwarts.   Padma gave birth to a strapping blue-eyed, black-haired girl on Harry’s birthday.

The same procedure that was used to bring Hermione back was also used for the Longbottoms - but since I'm not writing that story (this is, after all, a drabble on steroids) it's just so much backstory.

As to the chocolate sauce - write what you know.  

Ghirardelli's is much better than Hershey's, btw.




PhishBulb posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 6:01pm

I'm really liking this so far. It's different. It isn't easy. It's enjoyable to read a story with some complexity in the characters, even if this is just a "drabble" (Although I'm hoping you have the same definition of drabble as Jeconais apparently does).

I'm trying not to be too judgmental on the whole break-up thing. The only thing I'm sure about is that I really hope you don't have them jumping back together next chapter. I wouldn't even take a side in this whole thing except for the fact that Harry's pretty fucked up. By now Gabrielle should know that. If she wanted this whole thing to work out it seems as if she could have handled it a hell of a lot better. Maybe subconsciously she just didn't want the hassle of being with someone like Harry and tried to make him be the one to break it off. Regardless, I'll be looking forward to seeing where you take things next.

BTW: "today my husband is at his mum’s house, painting the parlour," Hermione said primly."

I'm sorry if this is clearly written out somewhere but shouldn't Neville's mum be in the hospital?

Kokopelli replied:

Well, I'll only write one reply to your identical reviews (gotta watch that trigger finger, Tex.)

Neither Gabrielle nor Harry are mature, seasoned, whole adults.   Each of them have their own issues and baggage, which sometimes makes for tragic mistakes.   Love covers a multitude of sins, but they haven't had a chance to apply that yet, have they?

Right now, I only have one more chapter planned, so I'll have to disappoint you on that front.

As to Neville - you missed the clue:

The remainder of the summer passed in a blur.   Neville and Hermione married in a small ceremony at the end of June, attended by Neville’s parents and the extended Weasley clan, with a reception held on the grounds of Hogwarts.   Padma gave birth to a strapping blue-eyed, black-haired girl on Harry’s birthday.

The same procedure that healed Hermione's mind was able to recover the Longbottoms as well.

Lira posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 4:47pm

*sobs* I hope she manages to finish the job soon and then can go looking for Harry. But this is a brilliant story. Other than Jeconais' Hope (and one or two one-shots), that's the first Harry/Gabrielle that I really liked! Outstanding story! Next chapter soon, please! :)

Kokopelli replied:

How many other Gabrielle stories are there?   I'm aware of mine (Maskirova) and Hope and now this one.

CootiePatootie posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 2:22pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOO what is it with Harry and the cluelessness??? In all seriousness, this is a good update. Ron and Harry's interaction is quite funny - the tending sprogs, or not tending them as the case may be, was the topic around *this* house tonight, too! :-) and Serita is a lovely name.

Love Hermione and Gaby's interaction at the end - the "shagging of your life" too funny!

I enjoyed this installment and I look forward to the next.

Cheers,

Cassie

Kokopelli replied:

Harry's always been clueless.

My neighbors are Indian, and their daughter (my daughter's age) is named Serita.   I'm terrible at names, so I steal them all the time.

Everyone expects newlyweds to be in bed all the time.   I will admit that for the first year of my married life (1982) that my wife and I were late for a lot of meetings.

KateHC posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 1:42pm

For a Drabble, this is pretty darn good. Gabrielle is growing on me.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 12:39pm

Oh, my! Gabrielle is very definitely going to need luck to find him again and then talk to him about matters. I don't envy either of them.

Jamey posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 12:31pm

She's going to need *LOTS* of luck - I suspect that if Harry wanted to, he could be at least as good a Tracker as she is - which means he is likely to be much better at hiding from one than her normal targets. In part, she only found him because he didn't know she was coming. Now he does.

94caddy posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 11:58am

No fair with the cliff hanger. Cant wait for the next update.

Ken Warner posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 11:14am

don't want to tar and or feather either one (plucked veela... yetch!) just tie him down and pour some sense into his head

love it - thanks for sharing