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OSF posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 11:59am

I like it, thanks for writing. But wouldn't Molly have inherited from Bella since she killed her?

Kokopelli replied:

Good question!  

 

Go back and read the introduction - magic is intent, and sometimes ritual.  Harry picked up Riddle's wand with the intent to keep it permanently because he'd vanquished his foe.  

 

Harry picked up Malfoy's wand, but intended to return it when the emergency was over.  Molly vanquished Bellatrix, but didn't do the ritual with the requisite intent.

lwj2 posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 11:54am

Good to see you're writing agan, I've always enjoyed your stories.

This has lots of potential, I'm looking forward to reading it, when you put up more. Daphne as a determined, average-looking girl is certainly a different take. Ron as an impecunious version of Draco is, for me, a given; thanks for not pairing him with Hermione.

Thanks for writing and sharing your story.

hpfanscs posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 10:55am

I really enjoyed the part where Harry defeats Tom Riddle. Very well done.

Kokopelli replied:

That was straight out of Deathly Hallows, with a few edits to fit my story arc.

Micky0077 posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 10:28am

'Twas a very nice beginning. Looking forward to seeing how this all plays out.

zonianx posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 9:03am

Always open to a new Daphne and Harry story, if that is where this is heading. This started well and my guess as to Queenie was wrong. I, also, don't see an antaganist clew yet as he seems to be okay with the Weasleys, the Malfoys, the Goblins, and the Ministry. I am glad to see that you are writing again and look forward to this story.

Banner posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 7:46am

This is interesting and different. I missed you while you are gone - this story brings up all kinds of hopes....

Patches posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 5:20am

This is really different. I'm suprised that Daphne is Queenie. That is going to take some time for Harry to accept. I look forward to how you work this all out. Thanks for writing. p

gadriam posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 4:06am

Most interesting. Further, it's a hell of a lot more plausible than most stories i've read lately. The negotiations in the beginning were brilliant, and you have the pieces in place for an interesting tale.

I also loved your note. Fanon is a funny thing. I'm currently writing a story myself, and i found there's a remarkable amount of things i "know" about the world that Rowling didn't write. Hermiones parents are called Dan and Emma more often than not, after Radcliffe and Watson of course. They tend to live in Basingstoke. Susan Bones is rather pretty and busty, and Daphne is supposed to be a supermodel. Icy though? No one under 35 can be icy. The closest they ever get is having a shitty demeanor. It takes more maturity and experience than that. Davis is, as far as i know, not even named in the books. Greengrass is mentioned in Ootp in passing, Davis is not. That makes them completely malleable for any aspiring keyhammerer to shape as they please. Most people just prefer not to.

Anyway, thanks, and I'm looking forward to the next..

g

Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2014 3:14am

I am very glad to hear from you again. I enjoyed what you have written thus far and look forward to future installments. Thanks for writing. W.

Riegert8 posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 10:41pm

I not surprise that Ginny died, in some ways I expect to be removed from Harry life and death is the fast way.

corrigan posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 10:01pm

Ok I'll tell you I suck at these but I think this story is fantastic it's so unique in view I can't wait to read more it's going to be intresting to see where you go with this

Ken Warner posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 9:49pm

A very enjoyble beginning for what is already better than canon. I am looking forward to seeing how Harry, and hopefilly his teamof advisors handle the multi-layered plans the greengrass clan has to have laid.

now if only we can get Hermione of the stupid potions that she has to be under to want Ron you will have a perfect story.

thanks for sharing

Kokopelli replied:

Hermione's not on potions of any sort (that I know of) and you'll see what happens with Ron in the next chapter.

Iarann posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 9:30pm

Glad to see you back in harness! Very engaging story start, I look forward to seeing where you take this.

BJH posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 9:08pm

All too true how good fanon becomes adopted as near-canon, but I do seem to recall that Sue Bones is described as a strawberry blonde somewhere in canon... But my big question is how did Ron and Hermione wind up in Germaney??? I thought they were going to Australia? "The goddam Germans got nothing to do with this!" ;)

BJH

Kokopelli replied:

I'll look out for the Germanes - they're the ones that arrive on time and smell like sauerkraut after lunch, right?

dg Fry posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 8:48pm

Interesting start to this tale as well as the original view of Queenie. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Brian64 posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 8:29pm

Thanks for the new story, and I'll be interested to see where you take this with the main/usual 'big bad' out of the way. I completely agree with your comments about fanon. I often switch between hilarity and scorn when reading reviews left by those readers who seem to feel it a crime when a promoted sub-character doesn't act as fanon has dictated. I'm looking forward to seeing how you switch some of the fanon staples around. :)

Kokopelli replied:

Yes, I just wrote a lengthy response to a review which mainly boiled down to the reader not liking my assumptions for the story.

 

I told him to write his own story.

Mr.Intel posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 8:26pm

Great to see you back in action. I'm closer to being an empty nester (oldest graduates next May), but that won't help my writing for many years. I appreciate several things about your writing -- you may be rusty, but rusty silver is still a precious metal; it just takes work to make it shine again.

One of the things I appreciate is the no nonsense way you sliced up canon. Most fanfic writers take the approach of turning Ginny into a cast-iron *&#$! that makes everything else fall flat. I'm interested in where you plan to take things. May you be inspired in your creation.

Kokopelli replied:

I agree with the critics who say that canon Ginny appears out the blue and snatches up Harry without a lot of background or character development.

While I think that Molly is a dangerous piece of work, this isn't an evil Weasley/evil Dumbledore story.  

I don't believe the canon epilogue - there's just no way that Harry would name a child Albus Severus.  I think he finally understands Snape, and to a certain degree respects him, but the loathing and the bullying was real, and my visualization of Harry would not have him being fond of manipulators or bullies.

takon65 posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 8:15pm

Thank you Right Honorable Kokopelli for the beautiful beginning to a story. I have missed your writing. I hope to see more in the future.

Would you please pass on to Aaran St. Vines my best wishes of health, happiness and wealth, his fans here miss him too.

dennisud posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 8:15pm

Good dtart with a better Ron at least with the death of Ginny it may have finalkly brought stark reality to him. Not thrilled with him being with hermione, but I can see where this is going. Keep Luna close to Harry as I only she her, Hermione, Andromada, and Ragknok harry trusts. nad now it seemd Daphne!

Kokopelli replied:

Luna won't nearly get as much screen time as she deserves.  It's really, really hard to write Luna.  The fanon trope is manic pixie nymphomaniac, which is easy to write, but not very satisfying.

jilumasam posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2014 7:36pm

Welcome back!

Thank you for writing another story. I've enjoyed all your stories over the years and it is great to see you are back writing.

Love this chapter, very interesting idea and I'm eager to see how it all pans out!

Liz