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Wanderer posted a comment on Monday 24th July 2017 3:01pm for Chapter the Fourth

Even better the second time through :-) Very enjoyable read with a charming humor and so easy to get into the yearning sort of hope.

amulder posted a comment on Monday 24th July 2017 9:49am for Chapter the Fourth

Hmm, did I comment when this was posted? Just found it again on a lazy morning and am enjoying the read. Thanks, John!

Kokopelli replied:

I think you wrote a "glad to see you writing again" post for chapter 1.  All stories have flaws, but I like how this story hung together.  Have you been following my Steward of the House of Black story?

Gary the Grouch posted a comment on Sunday 3rd January 2016 2:26am for Chapter the Fourth

Still having fun reading this! The only thing I think is a little implausible is that their growing relationship is a little too perfect for a couple of teenage war survivors. Thanks for sharing.

Kokopelli replied:

I didn't want to write a 200k word story, so I put in the time limit - so yes, the relationship is a bit quick, but not unbelievable.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 20th November 2014 12:35pm for Chapter the Fourth

Before your A/N I had the feeling you are almost finished setting up everything and you are about to begin the "action." Action in this story not being too fast paced, and maybe no action/adventure, but just the beginning of the really good stuff.

Delightful!

Kokopelli replied:

Chapter 4 was all about Grace & Daphne (and certain foundational garments) but primarily it's about putting things in place for Chapters 5 & 6.

sanbeegoldiewhitey posted a comment on Thursday 20th November 2014 2:47am for Chapter the Fourth

Terrific chapter. The best yet of this story. Grace's story made me emotional and made me admire Daphne's father. Daphne loves Harry already and Harry likes Daphne now.

Kokopelli replied:

Just wait for what's to come!

Alun Lewis posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2014 9:33pm for Chapter the Fourth

Hmmm...things are at an apex, huh? And Ron's apparently a skilled cardshark working the casinos of Macau? I'm getting a feeling that the downward plunge will relate to certain matters...

Fantastic story so far! I especially love how Harry and Daphne are feeling their way toward being the best couple ever with the help of Hermione and Grace :D

Kokopelli replied:

It's hard to write positively about Ron.  So I put him off stage and let him live life outside of the shadow of Harry Potter.

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2014 2:42pm for Chapter the Fourth

NIce work, I've enjoyed the way this story is developing.

Kokopelli replied:

Me too.

sylvelle posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 7:51pm for Chapter the Fourth

wrote of the Marr, a Ginny Harry storry. No don't remember.

Excellent chapter. Liked it very much.

Tricia

Kokopelli replied:

I don't understand your first sentence,

Thanks for reviewing.

RaphaelYervantian posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 6:45pm for Chapter the Fourth

This book is going to wind up on my Kindle' on the 'do not remove' list to be re-read multiple times in the future - like Jec's 'Hope'.

It has the same sort of feel to it - there's this whole unexplored world of magic that needs love and imagination to explore not explosions and ancient spells

Kokopelli replied:

I worked on Hope, that was a lot of fun.

cephis posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 8:35am for Chapter the Fourth

The story is very organic, I like the handling of the Harry/Hermoine dynamic. They are a little to clever, like a good sitcom. Real people only think of such awesome things to say afterwards. I am enjoying it very much and like your style. I toss a virtual coin for being well played and offer imaginary brownies for the next chapter

Kokopelli replied:

How could it not be organic with a beta like GardenGirl?

Thanks for the brownies, how did you know I prefer the ones without nuts?

Patches posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 4:58am for Chapter the Fourth

I really like this story. It seems that Harry is starting to reach out to Daphne and she is very happy about that. Negotiating their next date seems to becoming easier for both of them. I love the picknick. It seems that they have made quite a bit of progress. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. p

Kokopelli replied:

Another picnic to come in the following chapter.  ;-)

Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 3:27am for Chapter the Fourth

Fine chapter. I don't mind a slow pace as long as it is going somewhere, it just makes more to read. Thanks for writing. W.

Kokopelli replied:

Back when I was serious about writing fanfic (which is somewhat a contradiction in terms) I termed certain chapters as "moving the pieces around" the sole purpose of which was putting things into position for later chapters.

Pennywise posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 11:54pm for Chapter the Fourth

Awesome chapter.

Kokopelli replied:

Thanks for your kind words.

migele posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 7:03pm for Chapter the Fourth

Response:

You know, I've never understood the attraction of having a harem.

Having been married for 30+ years, the notion of having multiple women in my life, all of whom could be mad at me at the same time is not very appealing.

----

exactly.

I love sweet bits with a single character. my favourite is Hermione because they could be good together, then side or off the books chars. I don't approve of the canon pairings. Not with the characters as they are.

Congrats on your marriage then. On my side, I do have a son but because of lies and infedilety it had to be broken appart. maybe that is why I approve of sweet happy ends and characters overcoming everything and being true to each other.

Kokopelli replied:

I can write an action sequence (but I suck at it)

I can write conversation.

What I have real problems with is multi-threaded conversations or big group discussions.  

Sigh - the art is long, but the life is short.

FeNo posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 5:11pm for Chapter the Fourth

Oh that#s a nice plan Daphne has. Although it really only would be like reaching out a hand to the small rest of that pureblood insular population and ask them if they want to accompany the rest of the magical people into the future or rather prefer to die out slowly and with big pains in their own bog of corruption, self-complacency and antiquated worldviews...

I liked the mirror call, the mother-daughter-bonding over pictures and wonderbras and the sweet moments between harry and his betrothed... a very pleasant collection of intelligent scenes and dialogues you don't find in just about any fic around the internets... :)

Kokopelli replied:

Thanks for your kind words.

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 1:05pm for Chapter the Fourth

Nice little interlude for them in which they get to know one another a bit more. The bit about taking Harry riding is such an innuendo.

Kokopelli replied:

Innuendo?  Not from where I sit.

I plot out the story arc and then write to fill in the gaps.  I've always had a number of scenes, including the Harry & Daphne go riding and Harry & Daphne go flying on the story board.

No, it's not like the Buckbeak flying scene - not at all - don't even think of that!

The Seeker posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 12:41pm for Chapter the Fourth

Oh my, this was superlative! You write interactions so well, and especially so, when the two people like/love each other, as with Grace and Daphne, then Daphne and Harry. The conversations flowed, carried a world of emotion, and each sounded just right. The insights into these people were telling, expanding how much I like them.

Daphne will beome a beautiful woman, because Harry thinks she is. He will ensure that she has topics and activities that make her excited, so he can see how beautiful his betrothed will become. They are truly the saviors to be for Magical Britain, though at this time, I don't think MB deserves them. Grace's story was both gut- and heart-wrenching. It says worlds about her that she has become this wonderful mum and partner to the Baron. The continuing faux competition between Daphne and the midget is smile worthy, especially with Grace calling her daughter that. Wonderful touch that she could have a child after the abuse she went through. 'I - don't - care,' what a great way to help Daphne understand that what's important to Harry is who she is, not her exterior features. Her thanking Hermione out loud was really funny! And finally, Harry's 'and I love you, too, Hermione,' after the mirrors had closed was a wonderful way to show that he's improving in expressing his feelings, though sometimes reluctantly and a bit slowly.

What a pleasure this story is! Thanks for all your work. - The Seeker

Kokopelli replied:

You know, if I write it right, the really good scenes make me cry.  This chapter had a lot of those.

 

The competition between Daphne and the midget is not fake.

 

Astoria was a surprise baby - which is the way these things often work out (says the father of three children who went through two infertility workups - not a lot of fun).

 

And yes, Astoria is a mini-me version of her mother, who is one of those women who will never lose her charm as she ages.

 

Riegert8 posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 12:22pm for Chapter the Fourth

I find this to be an interesting story, but I waiting to see how you make Ron look in the future chapters. I happen to like Ron as a character, I don't see him as a lazy person. But a person that will only work hard on things that interest him.

Kokopelli replied:

You will be waiting a long time.

Ron's in Macau, and will be staying there for a couple of years.  He's going to spend a stint as a professional gambler and unfortunately he's good enough at it that he's making enough money to live.

I don't find a lot to admire about Ron in canon - he's rude, lazy, inconsiderate, prone to fits of jealousy and ill mannered.  Other than playing chess and reading about Quidditch, I don't see Ron really applying himself in canon - except when he's trying to master the lessons on how to win witches (book 6 I think).

I don't see Ron as being evil - although evil Ron is easy to write.  Any time, however, you write mature Ron or successful Ron, you don't have a lot of material to work with in canon.

In my Lost and Found Trilogy, I had Ron working as a radio announcer.

OSF posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 11:28am for Chapter the Fourth

FYI: Apparently a woman can be stimulated to lactate even if she hasn't had a child. She puts a tube down her breast so the child gets milk while sucking her nipple. The milk keeps the child sucking and the sucking action will stimulate milk production. During our first child's gestation my wife looked a lot of stuff like this up. She took great joy telling me it worked on men, too.

Thanks for writing,

OSF

Kokopelli replied:

Yes, Muggles do have ways of stimulating lactation.  

The lactating charm was invented by Priscilla Bowalter in the late 1700's and has been a staple in the Midwitch practice since then.  

It was most often used when mothers would die in childbirth and no wet-nurse was available.  Sisters, mothers or aunts of the deceased mother were most often sought out, although it was also successful when used with females unrelated to the nursing infant. 

scribbler posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 11:05am for Chapter the Fourth

AWESOME CHAPTER. You really have a knack for writing a love-story and you've completely outdone yourself with this. Daphne was a character who was pretty much a tabula rasa in the books and you've made her come alive. I also love the fact that you've woven Harry's back story in without making it look difficult at all.

GREAT JOB!! I'm posting this chapter to my FB account so that people can see it.

Kokopelli replied:

thanks for your kind words