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Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 20th November 2014 10:59pm for Chapter the Fifth

Oh, wow!

Will you let Daph kill her, or will Harry force his way out of the shadows and save her?

Or something else?


Kokopelli replied:

That would be telling...

dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Thursday 20th November 2014 3:10pm for Chapter the Fifth

Only two things struck me as unbelievable, Harry having problems riding a horse and James being a bully. Good otherwise.

Kokopelli replied:

James being a bully is canon.  See the Pensieve memory chapters in Order of the Phoenix.

As to the horse, I'm the writer, so it happened that way. ;-)

sanbeegoldiewhitey posted a comment on Thursday 20th November 2014 3:17am for Chapter the Fifth

Beautiful chapter. The attempted seduction by Astoria was nicely done; so was the scene of Harry teaching Daphne how to fly without a broom. I don't think Daphne will manage to kill Astoria. The noble Harry will stop Daphne from killing her sister.

Kokopelli replied:

We'll see...

ToddGilliss posted a comment on Monday 17th November 2014 11:00am for Chapter the Fifth

Looking forward to the next round chapters

Kokopelli replied:

Thanks for your kind words.  It will release on Friday.

WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Sunday 16th November 2014 5:26pm for Chapter the Fifth

Daphne is acting irrationally at the moment, which makes me think it is magic driving her. I hope that someone comes along to prevent the needless death.

Kokopelli replied:

I've got it covered.

Lon Huey posted a comment on Sunday 16th November 2014 8:39am for Chapter the Fifth

Good buildup in this chapter. So Astoria will die. Another way for Harry to see a side of Daphne that understands the sacrifices of what must be done over what is easy.

But, will Harry be able to forgive Daph if she kills The Midget? Does Harry look at this as just being part of his semi-charmed kind of life? Will Harry look at Astoria's incident as a broom issue, which he understands, or a horse issue, which he doesn't?

good cliffhanger.

Kokopelli replied:

Astoria probably deserves a lot of things, but capital punishment at the hands of her sister is a little extreme.

DrT posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 10:33pm for Chapter the Fifth

Great cliff hanger!

Kokopelli replied:

Yeah ,well, sooner or later it's necessary.

noylj posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 7:10pm for Chapter the Fifth

Please update story. Can't wait to read what happens to the midget...

Kokopelli replied:

Next Friday.

Michael10 posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 6:45pm for Chapter the Fifth

gonna shave her bald isn't she?

keep up the good work

Kokopelli replied:

Think exsanguination, not exfoliation.

Noble Korhedron posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 9:55am for Chapter the Fifth

I'm inclined to believe the midget here. SHe was just being EXTREMELY dumb. There's a reason even such basic stuff as victory rolls is banned for newly qualified pilots. They prefer you to do your aerobatics or combat flying as safely as possible, not somewhere where the first error you make kills you....

Kokopelli replied:

Astoria is an extremely good pilot, but not quite good enough for the Firebolt-X.  This will become a bit more clear in the next chapter.

Zamia posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 6:07am for Chapter the Fifth

Excellent and enjoyable yarn. You have Harry's naivety down pat, poor fellow. Hopefully between Daphne & Hermione, he will be educated into the requirements of the fairer sex. Harry has always wanted a family but what he wants and what he gets will be a long road. And he will probably have Teddy atthe back of his mind. Nice little cliffie. Waiting to see what happens. Cheers.


Kokopelli replied:

Thanks for reading.  Teddy will be a fixture at Harry's house, but he'll be raised by Andi.

gadriam posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 4:46am for Chapter the Fifth

So brilliant, but now I'm stuck at the edge of my seat for a week. Cliffies like that should be outlawed.

The semi-seduction scene was brilliant, the trial interesting and the flight lesson highly entertaining.

I'm looking forward to the next installment. The edge of my seat is not a good place for prolonged periods..=)

Kokopelli replied:

Yeah, well, I'm not going to leave you for two years like JKR did.  Chapter 6 is waiting in the can and will be released next week.

Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 4:19am for Chapter the Fifth

Great chapter. I look forward to the next installment with great anticipation. Thanks for writing. W.

Kokopelli replied:

Thanks for reading.

Pennywise posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 10:56pm for Chapter the Fifth

Awesome chapter. Damn Astoria is a little devil lol.

Kokopelli replied:

Astoria's got issues, which will hopefully resolve soon.

ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 5:43pm for Chapter the Fifth

The "walks through shadows" thing is very similar to an idea I have for a Harry reboot. I hope your reason for the ability is not the same as what I have planned.

As for this chapter, Harry needs to learn to look for listening charms himself! What would Moody say? Also, he should check for potions and poisons in food!

Bigger issues loom though. could Astoria actually be trying to make sure Harry is good enough for Daphne, or even trying to get Harry to commit?

OTOH, could Astoria be trying to make Harry think she's trying to help Daphne so that Harry will admire (or even think seriously about) Astoria?

It just seems, from the way I'm reading what you've written, that something other than the sibling rivalry is really going on.

And something is really off about Daphne pulling a knife on Astoria. Maybe Daphne is trying to get the real story from Stori, so to speak.

As always, thank you for writing and providing a high quality (and free!) fix for my HP FF addiction.

Kokopelli replied:

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

S. Freud

Patches posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 4:15pm for Chapter the Fifth

This is an amazing chapter. Astoria has really messed up. She has pushed her luck to the limit. Now Daphne has decided that she has gone too far. Astoria has hurt Harry and that is not to be allowed. I hope Daphne changes her mind but in a way maybe she shouldn't. Astoria is a loaded gun in the hands of an idiot. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. p

Kokopelli replied:

That's a lot of the problem with the Wizarding world - lots of power, not much sense.

Astoria's 13 - she has the body of a high school cheerleader, but she still has the judgment of a 13 year old girl.  


The Seeker posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 4:02pm for Chapter the Fifth

Wow!!! Perfect ending - I really do think you ended it at the right point. Continuing would have added many, many words to your already lengthy chapter. This will give us time to pause and figure out what will happen and the ramifications. I've seen the competition between Daphne and Astoria as nothing more than that between sisters, though magical ones who are very talented and intelligent.

Unless you've intended to make this story very negative and, for me at least, heartbreaking, since I've grown to like and admire Daphne, I can't see you having D kill Astoria. I'm hoping Daphne is doing this to scare the crap out of her younger sister, in the hope that she will finally realize how manipulative and competitive she is. Technically, I guess Daphne could kill her, based on Malcolm's decision concerning Astoria's actions in Harry's bedroom. But that would be making Daphne judge, jury and executioner. Well, enough of my probably erroneous speculations.

I've probably said this before, but it bears repeating. The 17,000+ words in this chapter read more like 7,000, because the writing was superb. You've created fantastic characters and placed them in very interesting situations, then added some unique family magic as a bonus, not to mention Harry's flying lesson and the ride with Daphne. I also wonder whether it was coincidental that Astoria ended hanging upside down after her flight through the barn, which was similar to what happened to Snape in Harry's story. If you did parallel the two, then it may mean Daphne does kill Astoria and Harry would terminate the relationship as Lily did with Severus.

Regardless which way you take us, this remains a fascinating, well written story. Thanks for your efforts and those of Tim and GardenGirl. - The Seeker

Kokopelli replied:

You know, when I got to this point in the original writing, I realized that I could take this in different directions, and I played with that, but declined this time around.  All the clues are in the story.

sstabeler posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 3:56pm for Chapter the Fifth

wow- I assume that Astoria's not actually going to get killed, but this chapter was quite a difference to other chapters. I think Astoria needs to be a bit more careful, and Daphne should probably be a bit less quick to jump to conclusions about her sister! ( as it stands, it looks a bit too close to comfort to Daphne looking for an excuse to kill Astoria- which I doubt very much is true.)

still, a pretty good chapter- even if the way the mood swung back and forth could give whiplash. Looking forward to the next one, though I wish it wouldn't be on a cliffhanger for a week.

Kokopelli replied:

Daphne sincerely believes that Astoria just tried to kill Harry.

jilumasam posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 3:44pm for Chapter the Fifth

woah!! I remember you saying in a review that there was a bit of a wild ride to come.

That was a fantastic chapter!

I'm really loving the Daphne and midget interactions (who wants plain old boring sibling rivalry?) and I really, really hope the cliffie doesn't mean what it's going to mean...

Incidentally I love the idea that Riddle was a bit of a nut for further knowledge and spell design/modification. I'm glad Harry is getting some use out of all that knowledge.

It's not just the chapters you write that are great, I've forgotten how much fun it is to read reviews when the author replies to them, so thanks for doing so :D

Thank you so much for writing, I appreciate it very much.

Kokopelli replied:

The ride doesn't stop here... (heh, heh, heh).

Brian64 posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 3:41pm for Chapter the Fifth

Wow, what a great chapter in what is a great story. yours is definitely one of the story alerts I most look forward to getting. I'm not sure I can point to anything specific that I like more than anything else, as I enjoyed all of it. When I started reading Daphne's diary entry I remember thinking "Oh damnit, I don't want this chapter to end now..." And it didn't. I'm not sure what to think about the shadow walking ability, as it seems to me that could be used to great effect if you wanted to perform some assassinations... for example, if you were a lord of an area (like Marr), and wanted to protect your family and the people you are responsible for from Death Eaters. On the other hand, I suppose demonstrating an ability to 'inexplicably' get to people and serving up such warnings might make the grimoire seem even more desirable. Oh well, I find it an intriguing possibility to ponder anyway. Astoria... Wow, that situation with Daphne and her knife at the end is certainly going to create some challenges no matter which way you slice it. Very much looking forward to seeing what happens next. and thanks again for writing.

Kokopelli replied:

The shadows has a lot of potential - but that's for another story.